A temporary solution
It is important for you to check in with where you are right now on your journey and observe how it’s going.
I’m going to give you some questions to ask yourself in several different areas so you can get a read on what’s happening. I don’t think we do this often enough or honestly enough.
If we are sincerely here to make changes to our relationships with ourselves and with food, for the long term, we have to be really clear on what we’re doing AND most importantly how we feel while we’re doing it and about it. And here’s why.
I talk to potential clients all the time that say Weight Watchers worked really well for them or that Medifast worked really well for them, or that keto worked really well for them, or that Optavia worked really well for them, you can see where I’m going with this right?
It worked in the past tense. It isn’t working for them anymore, it didn’t keep working, because they’re sitting with me searching for something else that will work.
Here’s an analogy that came to my mind about this as summer is around the corner which means boating season for me and my family…most boats are equipped with a bilge pump. When a wave comes over the bough and water comes into the boat, it drains through drains in the floor and down into a compartment where the bilge pump is housed. The bilge pump is triggered on for a minute and the water is pumped out.
It works. It does the job of the moment. It is designed to turn on for a short time and then turn off. It is not meant to pump continuously-so if there was a big leak and water is coming in and it’s ongoing, it’s just meant to get you back to the marina without sinking so you can get the leak fixed. It’s not meant to offset the leak for the life of your boat. That little pump will burn right out. It does a great job of solving a temporary issue, but it doesn’t fix the leak.
This is the same with a program or solution that “works” and then stops working. If it stops working, which usually means you stop working on it, it was a temporary solution. It wasn’t sustainable long term. It didn’t get to the root of things. It didn’t fix the leak. Part of that is usually due to it only focusing on the food and not the rest. But another part of that is that you don’t like it and don’t want to keep doing it.
So the first question to ask is…
1. Do I like what I am doing?
This means what and how much you’re eating and drinking, what you’re limiting, how you’re keeping track, and moving your body. It also means what you’re doing to understand what’s happening behind the scenes-how you’re journaling, looking into your mind, and your patterns and habits, the questions you are asking, the time you’re spending, the pausing and considering you’re doing in the moment of decision.
Now I want to be very clear…liking it-does not mean it’s easy.
Liking it does not mean it’s fun. Liking it is not just about how it tastes.
Liking it is not just about the moment it’s happening.
If you like what you’re eating, that means before, during, and after. That means the amount of prep is doable for your lifestyle, that you like the taste of it, and it is satisfying. AND you like how it feels in your body after you eat it.
If you like what you’re limiting, that means that you like what your body feels like in the absence of it. It doesn’t mean you don’t like to eat it anymore and the desire is completely gone. It just means that not eating it, or eating less of it, feels good to your body.
If you like how you’re keeping track, it means it’s thorough enough to be useful. It doesn’t take too long and is not too complex.
If you like how you’re moving your body, it means the amount of time is reasonable, it is accomplishing what you want it to-added strength, flexibility, fresh air, steps, and you like how you feel during and after. You may never want to do it, you may always resist going out and doing it, but you never regret it when you do.
If you like what you’re doing in terms of understanding your mind and the background noise, it means the amount of time you’re spending is sufficient and not exhausting, you are supported where you need to be when things come up-with a partner or friend to share with, a coach or a therapist to help you work through things, and some tools and skills to be able to navigate it.
2. Do I like how I feel?
You may think this is a trick question because you think it is normal to feel miserable and deprived and restricted and stressed when you are working toward your health and weight goals. It’s not.
It is normal to feel lots of discomfort on the path to change. It isn’t meant to feel like sunshine and rainbows. But feeling your feelings of discomfort day to day and learning how to ride the waves of discomfort instead of eat is part of the process.
Feeling miserable because you are not eating enough, and are not liking what you are eating that doesn’t have to be part of the process.
Another version of this question is; Do I like how my body feels? Notice how you feel after you eat, when you wake up, throughout the day. Do you like how your body is feeling as you go through this process? If the answer is no, it may be worth looking at why not and making some adjustments. Part of the purpose of this whole endeavor is to feel better in your body. So If you don’t, this won’t be sustainable.
3. Can I do this forever?
If the answer is no in any of these areas, you know you will eventually quit and be back in search of another solution that you like more.
So make sure you like what you are doing, and what it is creating for you.
4. Do I like my timeline?
Think about how long you imagined this would take in the beginning when you started out and how it’s going in reference to that.
Was that realistic? Why did you create the timeline or expectations around it that you did?
Consider adjusting it so you do like it-double it, cut it in half, extend it by a few months, make it open-ended. Or if you like it, keep it, and keep working toward it. If you’re not sure if you like it or not because it makes you a bit uncomfortable, you know you like it because it compels you forward.
It doesn’t have to be totally comfortable to be compelling. But if it’s terrifying or you believe it is impossible and you hate it, it won’t compel you anywhere. It will repel you and you will quit.
5. Do I still like my goal?
When you think about what you are aiming for, what you are wanting to create, what the goal of this is, do you still like the idea? Does it light you up? Does it excite you?
Or maybe alternately it calms and focuses you? If it does none of those things…you are not going to keep going. You will not do what it takes to get there, because you clearly don’t want to get there. So it might be time to revisit.
What is something that does light you up? Or focuses you? What could you work toward that you actually want to achieve?
6. Do I like my reasons?
- Do I like my reasons for eating and limiting the things that I am?
- Do I like my reasons for planning and keeping track and moving the way that I am?
- Do I like my reasons for my timeline?
- Do I like my reasons for my goal?
Knowing your reasons-why you are choosing to structure and execute the way that you are…will help you understand why you may not be creating the results that you want.
Because if you don’t like your reasons, this will not be sustainable.
If you do know and like your reasons for doing what you are doing, it doesn’t matter what happens, what anyone else thinks, or any of the shoulds and supposed to’s that come for you…you will like what you are doing, keep going and become someone who takes amazing care of yourself and likes doing it all of your beautiful life.
Take a few minutes today to get real with you and check in.
Make it a regular practice.
You will grow and change and evolve throughout this process and your likes and your reasons might change and evolve too.
If you keep checking in, you will always know where you stand and you’ll be able to adjust accordingly.
If you want more help finding a sustainable weight loss solution, then let me help!
