So much of our weight loss issue typically stems back to our belief that our value as a human is dependent on and diminished by our weight.
We believe that our struggle with our weight, makes us a little more broken, and a little less valuable than someone who can eat whatever they want and not gain weight.
I spent most of my life feeling this way. That my weight was an outward manifestation of my inner flaws.That I was lazy, lacked will-power, wasn’t disciplined and was therefore not good enough.
I believed hard that if I could just lose the weight, I would finally be and feel whole and complete…I would finally be enough.
But what if that isn’t true?
My grandpa was an artist. Not by profession, but he spent leisure time painting and drawing, sculpting, and even teaching himself to play the piano. One of his charcoal drawings of a ballerina hangs in my home, and much of his art still lives around the city of Heber, including a sculpture he designed for the 2002 Olympic Games.
I have strong childhood memories of the art studio in his home. In the center of the room there was a table, and on it always lived a large lump of charcoal gray clay. It wasn’t ever actually a lump though. Every time I visited, it seemed it had taken on a new form: a horse in full gallop, or two football players in mid-tackle on the way to the ground. I was always excited to see what the lump had become in my absence. The same amount of clay, was transformed into an entirely new creation in his hands.
We often think that we lack value, that we aren’t enough, or don’t have enough (will-power, discipline, belief, strength). That we need to be different, so we can be acceptable to ourselves. This keeps us in a constant state of striving and disappointment.
As I was thinking this week about my weight loss journey and desire for growth and progression, I remembered this lump of clay.
I started to imagine myself as this lump of clay.
Whole and complete and enough–with the potential to become so many amazing things. There are goals and achievements, and new roles I can take on and excel at…
But they are all formed with the same clay.
When I can imagine myself as whole and complete, my value not flaking away with mistakes or or weight gain. Not being chipped off when I fall short of my expectations and eat off of my protocol-just continually moldable and changeable and ME, I feel peaceful.
I feel free.
There is beauty and goodness in all of my forms.
When I imagine my wholeness and completeness, it becomes up to me to decide where I want to go, with no fear that I will ever be less than the perfect amount of clay I am made of.
This is what I want for you. To know, for certain, that you are the perfect amount of clay, and that it’s up to you what you become.
You have everything you need within you.
It all begins with a thought.