Ep #119: Check In

This is Weight Loss Success, with Natalie Brown, episode 119.

Welcome to Weight Loss Success with Natalie Brown. If you’re a successful woman who is ready to stop struggling with your weight, you’re in the right place. You’ll learn everything you need to know to lose weight for the last time in bitesize pieces. Here’s your host, certified life and weight coach Natalie Brown.

Hello everybody. Today’s episode is an opportunity for you to check in with where you are right now on your journey and observe how it’s going. I’m going to give you some questions to ask yourself in several different areas so you can get a read on what’s happening. I don’t think we do this often enough or honestly enough. And if we are sincerely here to make changes to our relationships with ourselves and with food for the long term we have to be really clear on what we’re doing and most importantly how we feel while we’re doing it and about it and here’s why.

I talk to potential clients all the time that say Weightwatchers worked really for them or that Medifast worked really well for them, or that keto worked really well for them, or that Optavia worked really well for them. You can see where I’m going with this. It worked in the past tense. It isn’t working for them anymore. It didn’t keep working because they’re sitting with me searching for something else that will work.

Here’s an analogy that came to my mind about this as summer is around the corner, which means boating season for me and my family. Our boat, well, most ski boats are equipped with a bilge pump. When a wave comes over the bow and water comes into the boat it drains through drains in the floor and down into a compartment where the bilge pump is housed. And then the bilge pump is triggered on for a minute and the water’s pumped out. It works, it does the job of the moment. It is designed to turn on for a short time and then turn off.

It’s not meant to pump continuously, so if there was a big leak and water is coming in and it’s ongoing it’s just meant to limp you back to the mariner without sinking so you can get the leak fixed. It’s not meant to offset the leak for the life of your boat. That little pump will burn right out. It does a great job of solving a temporary issue but it doesn’t fix the leak. This is the same with a program or a solution that ‘works’ and then stops working. If it stops working which usually means you stop working on it, it was a temporary solution. It wasn’t sustainable long term.

It didn’t get to the root of things, it didn’t fix the leak. Part of that is usually due to it only focusing on the food and not the rest. But another part of that is that you don’t like it and you don’t want to keep doing it. So, the first question to ask is, do I like what I’m doing? This means what and how much you’re eating and drinking, what you’re limiting, how you’re keeping track and moving your body.

It also means what you’re doing to understand what’s happening behind the scenes, how you’re journaling, looking into your mind and your patterns, and habits, the questions you are asking, the time you’re spending, the pausing and considering you’re doing in the moment of decision. Now, I want to be very clear, liking it does not mean it’s easy. Liking it does not mean it’s fun. Liking it is not just about how it tastes. Liking it is not just about the moment it’s happening.

If you like what you’re eating, that means before, during and after. That means the amount of prep is doable for your lifestyle, that you like the taste of it, that it’s satisfying, and that you like how it feels in your body after you eat it. If you like what you’re limiting that means that you like what your body feels in the absence of it. It doesn’t mean you don’t like to eat it anymore and the desire has completely gone. It just means that not eating it, or eating less of it feels good to your body.

If you like how you’re keeping track, it means it’s thorough enough to be useful, it doesn’t take too long and it’s not too complex. If you like how you’re moving your body, it means the amount of time is reasonable, it’s accomplishing what you want to, added strength, flexibility, fresh air, steps, whatever. And you like how you feel during and after. Notice I didn’t say before, because you may never want to do it. You may always resist going out and doing it but you never regret it when you do.

If you like what you’re doing in terms of understanding your mind and the background noise, it means the amount of time you’re spending is sufficient and not exhausting. You’re supported where you need to be when things come up, with a partner or friend to share with, or a coach, or a therapist, to help you work through things. And some tools and skills to be able to navigate it.

The next question you can ask, do I like how I feel? You may think this is a trick question because you think it’s normal to feel miserable, and deprived, and restricted, and stressed when you are working toward your health and weight goals. It’s not. It is normal to feel lots of discomfort on the path to change, yes, of course. It isn’t meant to feel like sunshine and rainbows. But feeling your feelings of discomfort day-to-day and learning how to ride the waves of discomfort instead of eat, it’s part of that process.

Feeling miserable because you are not eating enough and you are not liking what you are eating, that doesn’t have to be part of the process. Another version of this question is, do I like how my body feels? Notice how you feel after you eat, when you wake up, throughout the day, do you like how your body is feeling as you go through this process? If the answer is no, it may be worth looking at why not and making some adjustments. Part of the purpose of this whole endeavor is to feel better in your body, so if you don’t, this won’t be sustainable.

Next question. Can I do this forever? If the answer is no in any of these areas, you know you will eventually quit and be back in search of another solution that you like more. So, make sure you like what you are doing and what it is creating for you as well.

Another check-in question to ask, do I like my timeline? Think about how long you imagined this would take in the beginning when you started out and how it’s going in reference to that. Was that realistic? Why did you create the timeline or expectations around it that you did? Consider adjusting it so you do like it. Double it, cut it in half, extend it by a few months, make it open ended. Or if you like it, keep it and keep working toward it.

If you’re not sure if you like it or not because it makes you a bit uncomfortable, you know you like it because it compels you forward, that’s how you’ll know. It doesn’t have to be totally comfortable to be compelling. But if it’s terrifying or you believe it’s impossible and you hate it, it won’t compel you anywhere, it will repel you and you will quit. You also might want to ask, do I still like my goal? When you think about what you’re aiming for, what you’re wanting to create, what the goal of this all is, do you still like the idea? Does it light you up? Does it excite you?

Or maybe alternately, it calms you and focuses you. If it does none of those things you are not going to keep going. You will not do what it takes to get there because you clearly don’t want to get there. So, it might be time to revisit, what is something that does light you up, or focuses you? What could you work toward that you actually want to achieve?

Last but not least, use this question to look into all of these aspects of your journey. Do I like my reasons? Do I like my reasons for eating and limiting the things that I am? Do I like my reasons for planning and keeping track and moving the way that I am? Do I like my reasons for my timeline? Do I like my reasons for my goal? Knowing your reasons, why you’re choosing to structure and execute the way that you are will help you understand why you may not be creating the results that you want. Because if you don’t like your reasons this will not be sustainable.

And if you do know and like your reasons for doing what you’re doing it doesn’t matter what happens. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks or any of the shoulds and supposed to’s that come for you. You will like what you are doing, keep going and become someone who takes amazing care of yourself and likes doing it all of your beautiful life. Take a few minutes today and get real with you and check-in. And then make it a regular practice. You will grow, and change, and evolve throughout this process and your likes and your reasons might change and evolve too.

If you keep checking in you’ll always know where you stand and you’ll be able to adjust accordingly. Have an amazing week everyone. I’ll see you soon.

Thanks for listening to this week’s episode of Weight Loss Success with Natalie Brown. If you want to learn more about how to lose weight for the last time, come on over to itbeginswithathought.com. We’ll see you here next week.