This episode is dedicated to all my clients, past, present, future, and you, listening in today.
The weight loss journey is paved with seemingly impossible work, with progress made and then lost, over and over. And if you have a hard time giving yourself love and compassion on this journey, this love letter is for you.
Opening up to more love for us is something we all desperately need, especially when you’re doing this amazing work of healing your brain and body. It can feel hard hearing and accepting the love for you that I have to share today, but I invite you to just listen.
This is Weight Loss Success with Natalie Brown, episode 73.
Welcome to Weight Loss Success with Natalie Brown. If you’re a successful woman who is ready to stop struggling with your weight, you’re in the right place. You’ll learn everything you need to know to lose weight for the last time in bitesize pieces. Here’s your host, Master Certified coach, Natalie Brown.
Hello everybody. I wish you could see me right now. I’m literally under the covers of my bed in my hotel room, creating my own podcast sound booth. I am dance-moming at a competition with my daughter, dance-moming is a verb I made up to describe what I do here.
And so I’m away from my super fancy podcast studio at home, a.k.a my closet. So I’m being creative and I really hope this does the trick. If not, I know my amazing podcast editor Pavel – shoutout to my Digital Freedom Productions team – will make it sound fantastic as always.
But if it does sound a little different, that’s why. Just being creative and balancing work life and mom life the very best I can. Straight out of the gate, I want to let you know, I have a new weight loss group starting at the end of July. And I’d love for you to join us.
I have a new group of clients starting their last beginning journey with me in a few weeks and I can’t wait. It’s not fun work, it’s not easy work, but it is mind-blowing, life-altering work. I get so excited as we come together each week for our weekly calls and I hear my clients share things like, “I’m noticing the food chatter in my mind is barely there. I’m able to listen to what my body wants, what it’s hungry for, eat, and then move on.”
Or even stories like, “I went to dinner with my friends and they all decided to order dessert after the meal, and I checked in with my body and I decided I didn’t want any. I was full. Even though it was on my plan and I had full permission, I didn’t order any. I didn’t feel bad, I sat with them as they ate, and kept enjoying the company, no drama.”
I mean, come on. These types of changes, these shifts from feeling deprived or obsessing over food all day every day toward freedom and being able to listen to and honor your body, that is way more fun and way more impactful than my clients being like, “I lost two pounds this week,” or, “I’m 15 down from where we started.”
I love that too, don’t get me wrong. Super fun to celebrate those victories. But the mind-shifting life-changing work, that gets me fired up. If you want to know more or are interested in applying for a strategy session with me, head to itbeginswithathought.com/apply. I would love to meet with you and chat with you about what your goals and struggles are and see if the program is a fit. So head to itbeginswithathought.com/apply and let’s do it.
I was thinking about my clients and I felt overcome with love for them. And I wanted to write them a love letter. And afterward, I realized it might benefit all of you or even one of you to hear some of these things too. So this is dedicated to my beautiful, awe-inspiring clients, present especially as well as past and future, and the life-changing, seemingly impossible work they are doing on themselves and to any of you who need to hear it.
An interesting aspect of this I realized for myself after writing it as well was that it was exactly what I needed to hear. If you have a hard time giving yourself love and compassion at times, think about someone you love. Think about what you would want to share with them, how you feel about them, and what you see in them.
Any understanding or compassion you have for them. And write them a letter. Chances are there will be some messages in there for you. Notice if it feels hard to hear them, to accept them, to allow them in, and ask why. What’s in the way of you believing this for you? And that is your work to pursue. Let’s all open up to more love for us. Heaven knows most of us need it desperately, right?
Dear clients, and I thought of each of their names and faces as I wrote this. You are working so hard. It is such a beautiful thing to witness. You think your efforts aren’t good enough because they aren’t yielding the results they should in the timeline you imagine. Because you think that the faster you get results, the sooner you will be able to be proud of yourself and accept yourself and be worthy.
You think that the quicker you lose this weight, the quicker your pain will go away and your life will open up and become amazing and the world will finally see your value. You are frustrated, exhausted, burned out from all of the trying and pushing and striving to be worthy through your weight loss.
I am so sorry you are hurting. I’m so sorry you’re struggling. I’m so sad you don’t see you like I see you. So brave for striking out on this journey, even though you haven’t been successful before. I see you being so vulnerable as you look inside and do the work of understanding how you got here.
So, so strong as you fall down and get back up and feel doubt and fear and you keep going anyway. You aren’t failing. You’re healing. It takes time, it takes patience, it takes rest and compassion and love and commitment.
Changing your relationship with you and with food and with your body is not an overnight change. It’s a momentous effort. It is preparing the ground by putting out all the weeds and cleaning up all the garbage. It’s tilling the hard ground packed down by years of storms and weather and neglect. It’s planting a seed deep in the earth and nurturing it with water and nutrients and sunlight so it can take root.
It is having patience as you watch it sprout. It’s protecting the tender shoot from being trodden down by unaware feet, or snatched up by hungry creatures. It is the long haul of watching it grow and waiting for the fruits of your labors to be revealed and enjoyed. A life of peace with food, an existence filled with love for you. A body that is appreciated and revered.
These are not small things. They are giant things. And you are creating them one step at a time. It doesn’t feel like anything is happening some days. Some days it even feels more like destroying and less like creating, and that’s okay. That’s how it goes.
You feel tentative at times, hopeless at times, lost at times, and that’s okay. That’s how it goes. You wonder if you can, if you want to, if you should. And that’s okay. That’s also how it goes.
You don’t need to do more to be better. You are already amazing, just by being you. You have unique gifts, strengths, and superpowers. I don’t you don’t believe that all the time, or maybe not at all, at least not yet. I know you find it much easier to see and focus on what you perceive as weaknesses. And that’s okay. That’s also how it goes sometimes.
But if you will just humor me for a second and open your heart to these words, you are the most you you can be. No one else is you. No one else ever will be. The world has and only needs one you. And that is enough.
Not the you of the future who is perfect in all the ways you think she should be, not the you of next year, who has lost 30 pounds, the you of right now, in your body, with your face, your skin, your soul, all of your special ingredients. Just you, period. You are all.
You want to evolve and grow? Awesome. But you will still be you. You want to change your body and your health? Great. But you will still be you. You want to up-level your relationship with you and as a human, fantastic. But you will still be you. And what a gift you are.
I’m amazed at all you have navigated in your life that brought you here. I’m blown away by what you have endured, what you have accomplished, by who you are. Your brain is magic. Your smile is a salve. Your compassion is a gift.
It is such an honor to watch you as you tentatively but with conviction keep going. Try new things, try things again. What an example you are of tenacity and perseverance, steadfastness in doing things despite difficulty and delay in achieving success. The very definition of it.
You are not an example of perfection because perfection is not human. The decision to try and fail and try and succeed and try and fail again, that is humanity at its best and you are doing this every day. Give yourself some grace.
I know you want to beat yourself up and heap shame and guilt upon you for where you are, for your habits that aren’t serving you, for any health consequences you are experiencing as a result of how you’ve been taking care of you. Your brain has been doing its best for you. It’s been trying to protect you from failure and pain.
It has been thinking that food is the solution to anything life throws at you, that intense emotions are dangerous and should be avoided or buried, and that shame and guilt are the strongest and best motivators. It was just misguided by all the messages that the world has sent you about what was acceptable and important, about how you had to conform to outside expectations, about how your opinion couldn’t and shouldn’t be trusted because the outside experts know better. But they don’t.
Only you know what you need. Only you know what you like. Only you know what’s best for you. You are the expert on you. It will take some time and some love to build back trust that this is true, that you can rely on you as the expert on you.
But as you make decisions with as much love as you can muster, that trust will start to flourish and strengthen until you no longer question it. You will still not be perfect. Even when trust is rebuilt and you are listening to you and taking exquisite care of you, you will still be a human, you will be gloriously imperfect and amazing, and that’s exactly how it’s supposed to be.
So maybe we need to open up to the idea that perfect is imaginary. That enough is not a thing that we aren’t, or need to move toward and become more of, that wherever we are is where we’re supposed to be. That we’re exactly enough of what we are meant to be and always have been, that comfort in our skin is not a number on the scale but a state of mind.
You are everything you need to be right now. That doesn’t mean you can’t become something else, but something else isn’t better. It’s just different. Being where you are is not static. It’s not a lack of progress or falling behind or not doing it right. It’s just love. It’s reality. It’s presence. And it’s the only place you need to be. I hope that you can learn to give yourself permission to just be you, to be where you are, to let that be enough.
I see you, I love you, I hope with all of my heart that one day you will too. See you soon everybody.
Thanks for listening to this week’s episode of Weight Loss Success with Natalie Brown. If you want to learn more about how to lose weight for the last time, come on over to itbeginswithathought.com. We’ll see you here next week.