This week, we’re diving into the concept of editing our thoughts and beliefs. Like we would with our homes and closets, it’s important to have a closer look every once in a while at our thoughts to see what’s serving us, what’s not, and to have a purge.
Listen in this week as I show the importance of editing thoughts that don’t serve you, and a simple guideline that will make editing your thoughts easy. There are really only 3 considerations for losing weight that make sense, and I’m laying them out here to help you decide whether weight loss is truly something that you want for yourself.
This is Weight Loss Success with Natalie Brown, episode 33.
Welcome to Weight Loss Success with Natalie Brown. If you’re a successful woman who is ready to stop struggling with your weight, you’re in the right place. You’ll learn everything you need to know to lose weight for the last time in bitesize pieces. Here’s your host, certified life and weight coach Natalie Brown.
Hello everybody. I love this review from Kim so much. It’s back from when there were only a handful of episodes, and she mentions one of my very favorite episodes. Episode four. So I’m excited to highlight it again and remind you about it. Maybe you can go listen to that too today.
I’m going to read you just a snippet of her review. “I loved Natalie’s analogy of a river of misery in episode four. Necessary darkness.” It’s what the title of the episode is. So good. “Are we willing to struggle against the current to get to our ultimate goal on the other side? The river, our weight loss journey is full of obstacles, but personally, I have no doubt I will be able to overcome them with thought-provoking guidance from Natalie Brown. Listening to her podcast is like having a weekly shot of positivity. I also love that she ends her podcast with a call to action. In episode four, Natalie suggests we take time to think about what obstacles are in our river and what’s waiting for us on the other side.”
So good. Thanks so much, Kim. At the end of her review, she said, “I can’t wait for next week’s podcast, hopefully I’ll be listening to it on my new AirPod Pros,” because at the time, we were doing a launch giveaway and that was the big prize at the end.
So it’s not AirPod Pros like during that launch giveaway, but I am going to send you, Kim, a super fun gift as a thank you for your review. So good news either way, right?
Okay, I recently watched the show The Home Edit on Netflix. And it inspired me, as those organizing shows tend to do for me, to do some editing of my own. I’m a pretty good and consistent purger, cleaner outer editor in some areas of my house. Not so much in others. But one of the areas I do this regularly in is my closet, where a couple of times a year, as the weather changes and my wardrobe subsequently changes, I go through the things from the most recent season and make some edits.
I think about what I love, what I didn’t choose at all that summer or that winter, what has been around for a few seasons and I’m ready to let go of. There are always a few things I bought without trying on that didn’t quite fit, and so I only wore them once or twice.
There are a few things that I have kept around for some sentimental reason but I don’t actually wear anymore. Things I have that were part of some short-lived trend and now they seem to be out of date. So I went through all of my things and I made piles of items I’m going to keep and store for next year, and items that I’m ready to let go of and donate.
And I bet you can guess what happened next. I started thinking about how this same concept relates to weight loss. I have my how does this relate to weight loss/how will this help my people lenses on pretty much all the time, everywhere I go, which is why I tell you all these random stories that segue into our topic.
I’m always looking for parallels. We need to periodically do this same exercise that I did in my closet with our thoughts. Go through and look more closely at beliefs we could edit that are not serving us. We can do this by looking at the results we’re seeing in our lives in different areas and working backwards, asking what am I believing about blank that is creating this result that isn’t working for me?
So for example, if you are not planning your food in advance and are instead just eating whatever in the moment, you can ask, what am I believing about planning that is creating the result of me not doing it and therefore not taking care of myself the way that I want to?
Maybe you are believing that planning is hard or it takes too long, or that you can only plan green things or it doesn’t count, or that planning is restrictive. And then one by one, you get to investigate and start making some edits.
Does the belief, planning is restrictive, fit? Is it out of date? Are you still choosing it because you always have, but it is not actually true anymore? What is its purpose? Sometimes when I’m kind of going through this process of figuring out what I want and don’t want, I simply ask, do I love this?
And I put love in all capital letters. Like do I love this? And is it useful? Pretty easy to edit with that as the guideline. I considered titling this podcast belief editing because I think it’s clever and awesome. But when it came down to it, there is just one belief that I really want to especially focus on editing today, and that’s this one.
I should lose weight. And I would add two other common iterations alongside this one. I need to lose weight, and I have to lose weight. I want to side note here for a second. Please hear me when I say what you might never expect a weight loss coach to say, which is this. I do not think everyone should or needs to lose weight.
I do not subscribe to BMIs and “ideal weights” as the determinant of whether or not you need to lose weight or should. I don’t believe you should be a certain number of pounds for your height. I don’t think you should be a certain size. I don’t believe in living our lives to be in normal range or average weight just because.
I just don’t. There are happy people at different weights. There are healthy people at different sizes. Just as there are miserable people at different weights, and unhealthy people at different sizes. I’m not saying I don’t believe in modern medicine or disease, but I don’t think we should go off what other people say we should be.
Tangent over for the moment. I’ll go into this, my opinion here in some more detail in a minute, but I wanted you to know my stance just straight out the gate. I guess I could have also titled this podcast should you lose weight, not necessarily, let me explain, or maybe not and here’s why, or not for the reasons you think.
But those all just seemed a little wordy. So you know how I feel about the word should and the sentiment of it. I’ve talked about it a lot. Podcast seven, all about it. Shoulds are always made-up rules. They are usually unrealistic expectations of us, of our lives, and other people.
They are always denying the reality of what is for our alternative preference. They also feel a lot like judgment because they imply that what is currently happening is not okay. So many women that I talk to share this belief that they should/need/have to lose weight.
So let’s edit it. Let’s take it out and look at it. There are two reasons that most people think they should/need/have to lose weight. They believe either I will be happier when I lose weight, or I will finally be okay or some version of that, valuable, worthy, lovable, whole, complete when I lose weight. Or sometimes both.
When we believe the former, we are believing that our body size or the number on the scale creates feelings. That if we saw different numbers on the scale, we would feel differently. But I just want to reiterate, this is not the case. Numbers are symbols. They just sit there on the scale, meaningless without a human brain to attribute meaning to them.
We know this because the number you see on the scale that you think creates your misery is someone else’s dream come true. And there is someone who is seeing your dream come true number on the scale right now and is feeling terrible about it. We see digits, we make it mean something about us, and we feel misery or joy based on the sentence we choose. Period.
When we believe we will finally be okay, whole, complete, et cetera when we lose the weight, we are in essence saying that our value is based on our weight or size. That humans who have lower numbers are more valuable than humans who have higher numbers. Can you see how ridiculous that sounds?
Your value is fixed. It is innate. I want you to picture some humans you love unconditionally, or maybe animals. Maybe your children or friends or family members or pets. And I want you to think of them as infants. Brand new innocent pure goodness.
Can you imagine looking at them and thinking, you’re perfect now, but one day you’re going to grow up and put on some extra pounds and be less valuable to me as a result? But this other human I love will grow up and not gain extra weight and she will be more valuable to me as a result. It’s insane, right?
You, my friend, are no different. You were born with your value and no matter what you do or what number you see on the scale, you won’t change it. If you go into a through your weight loss journey believing this, that you should lose weight to be happier or more valuable, A, it will be so much more difficult. Likely even impossible.
And B, if you do get to the end, it will be like receiving a beautifully wrapped box that is labeled happiness or value. And opening it up to find that there is nothing inside. You can’t find happiness or value in there. It has to be created inside of you.
So the beliefs I should lose weight in order to be happy, and I need to lose weight so I can value myself need some editing. When deciding about whether or not to lose weight and why, assuming our innate value and that the new number won’t create happiness, there are really only three considerations that make sense.
First consideration, is your weight creating physical limitations that are keeping you from living the life you want to live? Now, I want to emphasize that qualification. Living the life you want to live. None of these things are innately problematic unless they’re a problem for you.
For example, maybe your health is being affected in some way, whether it’s a diagnosis like high blood pressure or diabetes, or symptoms, like for me it was reflux and disrupted sleep and digestive issues and a whole host of other things. Or maybe you have low energy that makes it hard to complete your day-to-day tasks and be present at work or at home.
Or maybe it’s physically uncomfortable to exercise the way you want, or to travel in your current body. If any of these things are keeping you from the life you want to live, losing weight might be something you want to do.
Second consideration, what is your long game? Meaning in five, 10, 20 years, what kind of life do you want to be living and what bearing does weight have on that life? So if you’re planning on retiring in 10 years and parking on a beach somewhere, not going anywhere, not doing much, maybe weight doesn’t matter.
For me, I was gaining weight pretty steadily about five, sometimes plus pounds a year. So when I asked myself where will I be in 10 years, the answer was another 50 pounds on my frame. And that, in addition to the 50 pounds I was already carrying around and the physical symptoms I was already experiencing was not going to facilitate that future life that I wanted to live, so weight loss made sense.
Third consideration, do you have an interesting in improving your mind management? In other words, your ability to recognize, to understand, and manage your thoughts and beliefs in order to be able to create the experience of your life that you want to have.
Any goal can be a workshop where if you approach it from a thought, feeling, and behavior standpoint, not just changing your actions but changing why and what you’re doing and how you’re feeling about it, you make changes in your brain.
And weight loss is a great goal because through the process, in addition to changing your relationship with good, you have the opportunity to increase your emotional intelligence, to improve your relationship with yourself, and learn to make and keep commitments. All skills that you can apply in other areas of your life to achieve other goals.
So these three things considered, the belief I should lose weight can instead be edited to I want to lose weight and our journey will be fueled, not be obligation or resentment, but by love and care for ourselves, which we know is the best kind of fuel.
We can learn to create confidence with our minds through the work of weight loss. We can increase our love for ourselves through the work of weight loss. We can show ourselves what we are capable of through the process of weight loss. We can strengthen our relationship with ourselves through the process of weight loss.
We cannot, however, eliminate uncomfortable emotions. We cannot experience uninterrupted happiness. We cannot change our value. We cannot increase our worth. Not through weight loss or any other means.
Okay beautiful friends, thank you for being here. I love your reviews, so keep leaving them for me and letting me know you did at itbeginswithathought.com/review so I can send you a gift. See you soon.
Thanks for listening to this week’s episode of Weight Loss Success with Natalie Brown. If you want to learn more about how to lose weight for the last time, come on over to itbeginswithathought.com. We’ll see you here next week.