This past week I attended The Life Coach School’s Mastermind. It’s a yearly conference for all of the Certified and Master Certified coaches to get together and learn from each other, connect, and celebrate accomplishments. Due to the pandemic, we haven’t been able to get together since 2019. It was so nourishing to my soul to be able to be in the room with so many people who I love, who inspire me, and who I have missed so much.
One of the accomplishments we celebrate is coaches reaching certain revenue milestones in their businesses in the span of 12 months. It was such a powerful and inspiring celebration.
For the third year in a row I got to walk across the stage and accept my 100K award. I was bursting with pride and gratitude for all that it meant to me. What a different experience it was compared to the previous 2 years.
Changing our focus
The first time I earned and received the award in 2019, I felt numb. I had spent a year in a business mentorship program, completely focused on the outcome of making 100K. I fueled myself with pressure, obligation, and panic. It was so damn hard.
I took zero ownership of the accomplishment, felt zero celebration and couldn’t connect to any positive emotion. I was expecting the achievement of the goal to create positive feelings for me. Achievements can’t do that job.
Only our brains can do the job of attributing meaning to the achievement.
When we lose weight with the sole focus of a number on the scale or a certain size body, at the end of it…we are not automatically in love with ourselves and our bodies.
What creates the feelings we desire is working on our relationship with ourselves, the fuel we use during that process and the meaning we attribute to the accomplishment of the goal.
That lesson hit home that day, standing on that stage. So the next year I took a deep dive into myself, connecting to who I was and what I wanted to say, be and do in the world.
That year I completed Master Coach Training, my podcast was born, and I created multiple six figures of revenue in my business again.
But this was in 2020, so there was no walking across the stage, no celebrating with my friends and peers. I opened my award at home, by myself in my office, and I gave myself the gift of feeling celebrated, proud and loved. It was quiet and powerful.
Witness your transformation
This year was a culmination of so much deep and hard work. Any accomplishment, including weight loss, is a culmination of working hard to make changes day in and day out.
As I stood on the stage this year, I thought about the day-to-day grind, monotony, putting in the work of baby steps and tiny things that don’t feel like they are making an impact. Mistakes, set-backs and doubts.
Putting in the work, the hours, the minutes, the little things that aren’t monumental changes, but they add up, build and become what you are trying to create.
As we are working toward our health and weight goals, working to change the relationships with ourselves, we don’t see the scale go down everyday.
We don’t notice our feelings and thoughts about ourselves and about food change over night.
Sometimes we don’t feel that change-until all of a sudden we feel it.
That’s what it feels like I’m experiencing, a sea change. I’ve been putting in the daily grind of the work every single day to believe in myself and to celebrate my success and to be proud of it.
Now it feels like a total transformation, only one that I hadn’t seen coming incrementally. It just washed over me after a year of working so hard to create it.
I told the story of me learning how to ride my motorcycle last year. It was so hard and I felt like I wasn’t improving much on the first day. Then when I slept on it, all those new neuropathways I had created did the work of connecting as I slept and I woke up and it felt easier the next day.
That solidification can happen over a long span of time…but the effect is the same-it’s hard and effortful, and then at some point you realize it’s more effortless.
Show up for yourself
I’ve worked hard on myself this year and I’m seeing the fruits of my labor in my life and the way that I show up and in the way that I’m seeing myself. And I am proud of that and own it. Not giving any of it away to anyone else.
I think part of what aided my transformation has been having someone outside of me help look into my mind. Hiring a coach, an objective outsider, to help me see things I was too close to see myself. I think that that has been a huge piece of the puzzle for me.
Working with people that are objective and are outside of me has been a huge tool that has helped facilitate all of my success over the years.
Part of transformation has been having a laboratory or a workshop in which I can work through my thoughts, beliefs, and ideas. That requires me to be open and vulnerable, which still feels scary sometimes.
Ultimately, sitting in a virtual room with my coach is also me sitting in a room with myself and being willing to really see my own mind. When it only lives in my head, it’s really easy for me to compartmentalize, put it away, rationalize it and then ignore it.
When I have to sit with my coach and open up my mind to her and what’s going on in there, it allows me to see myself in a different way.
So it’s not just being seen by her, her mind seeing my mind, it’s me seeing my mind too. And I think it’s beautiful to have somebody to reflect ideas off of and get curious with and help point me in the direction of myself.
This is why I think coaching in this process of weight loss can be so powerful. Having someone outside of you, holding up the mirror so you can see you in a different way changes things for my clients.
Doing weight loss in a group setting with help, versus on our own, has a compounding effect. My clients are able to see themselves reflected in the other women they are on the journey with. Their compassion expands as they share their experiences and honor others experiences as well.
Most of the time we try to do this work on our own…and it does work and it does help. Absolutely.
But I also think that enriching that experience-accelerating it, happens when we open ourselves up to others and let ourselves be vulnerable. Especially in a safe place with women who are also going through what we go through.
I see that with my clients. Where their growth and their learning is accelerated and magnified as they watch each other do the same, sharing their struggles and wins. It moves me every week as I watch them do the brave, hard work of showing up for themselves. I am so honored and inspired by them.
A ripple effect
One thing I want to be very clear about is that even though I have mentioned here the accomplishment of my money goals…the money is actually not the goal when I set out to achieve it.
What is much more compelling and meaningful is that I think about what each dollar represents…and that is what inspires me and moves me forward in the day to day grind that is often entrepreneurship. I think about a money goal, but I also think about a people goal.
Every penny of that goal represents the women who are impacted by the work I am doing in the world. The hundreds of clients I have worked with over the years and all of the amazing work they have engaged in to change their minds, bodies and relationships with themselves.
The hundreds of students I have taught to coach and the amazing work they are all doing in the world to help people too. And the immeasurable ripple effect of all of that.
My clients who are influential women in their spheres and the example they are to other people in their lives. My students who are making their own waves, in their own ways.
Every single one of us, and our willingness to do the hard and uncomfortable work of change….it makes ripples and waves we can’t even measure. It gives me chills just thinking about it.
The work you are doing on yourself, for yourself, it matters. It is often slow, and it is emotionally rigorous…but it is so important.
Keep going. Keep working. Keep showing up.
I feel your efforts and your pain and your pride too. Make sure you take a look around and celebrate you.