I recently took the Enneagram test and was fascinated to see that it confirmed a lot of things I already believed about myself. It put into words exactly how I feel about certain aspects of my personality and I can’t wait to share some of these things with you today. That said, I want to highlight how so much of your personality is actually in your control.
I’m sharing my philosophy on personality tests and how you can intentionally use them in a way that helps you be the highest version of yourself. We all have things we hate about who we are, which can make it really tricky to find aspects that we actually love and feel grateful for, and this is what I’m urging you to do this week.
Join me on the podcast as I share 41 things I love, like, and accept about myself, in celebration of my 41st birthday this week! I’m encouraging you to try this exercise out for yourself, to start a process of opening your brain up to the wonder that is you. Weight loss can so often feel like a journey of hating yourself, and I know this exercise helped me see how far I’ve come in my relationship with myself.
This is Weight Loss Success with Natalie Brown, episode 28.
Welcome to Weight Loss Success with Natalie Brown. If you’re a successful woman who is ready to stop struggling with your weight, you’re in the right place. You’ll learn everything you need to know to lose weight for the last time in bitesize pieces. Here’s your host, Certified Life and Weight Coach Natalie Brown.
Hey everybody. I have to tell you, I read every single review I get on this podcast and I just caught up on the last few and I couldn’t help but tear up. Hearing that the podcast is helping you, that it’s allowing you to see your way to changing your relationship with your body, yourself, and your weight, that is why I do this, my beautiful friends.
Every week I think about you and what you’re struggling with and what could help you. So thank you for taking time out of your lives to let me know. It means a whole lot to me. This week’s review that I want to share comes from Dawn, and it’s one of those that made me tear up. I’m just amazed and excited to hear this, Damn. Listen to this everyone.
“Natalie made it click. I love this podcast. It’s short and sweet and I have listened to it multiple times. I, like many, have tried numerous ways to lose weight but have not had lasting success. My weight just kept creeping up and my doctor had warned me of what health issues I would be faced with in the near future if things continued.
Even knowing that, I still couldn’t change my habits and felt like a failure, which made me eat more. Then I found Natalie’s podcast and my life changed. Natalie doesn’t preach or make you feel like your life has to totally change to be successful. She made me feel human and not like a failure.
I listen to the way she suggests we should approach food and the question we should ask ourselves. I am shocked at how this totally changed things. I am now very much in control of my eating and I’m losing weight without feeling like I have to follow a strict program. I now have a different relationship with food and feel great. Thank you, Natalie, for being the one to make it click.”
Isn’t that amazing? Seriously, changing your brain like Dawn describes is the weight loss strategy that you haven’t tried that really works. I love the click. It’s my favorite part, when that thing that you hear or that you try just resonates and it works, and things are altogether different. This is so fantastic.
And extra super fun because not only is this week episode 28, but my birthday happens to be this week as well on the 28th. How fun is that? That worked out really nicely, didn’t it? I didn’t plan it when I started this podcast. I was not that organized. But I love it when things line up or coincide like this.
To have podcast 28 on my birthday that is the 28th. It’s so fun. I find a lot of joy in it because I choose to believe it’s like a little hug from the universe, reminding me that it’s all happening for me. I recently saw this quote on Instagram, and I wrote it down in my journal because I loved it so much. “Believe that change is working for you, ahead of you, and with you. Life is always trying to give you what you need. Sometimes it’s not the way you expected.”
I love that so much. “Believe that change is working for you, ahead of you, and with you.” I love the idea that life is working ahead of me. All my brain can see is the past and what I wish was happening or think should be happening right now. If I could see into the future, see ahead of me, there are so many times when I would see how life is exactly as it is now so I will have something or learn something or be something in the future.
You know how we say hindsight is 20/20? Because it’s only when we get to the future and look back that we can see that life was working ahead of us. I want you to think about a time in the past that you were frustrated by something that happened to you or didn’t happen to you. Maybe it’s weight loss related or COVID related or something else.
Can you now from this present place see how life was working ahead of you? Or if it was in the recent past and you’re not quite to hindsight yet, can you imagine how it is true that life is working ahead of you right now? Notice how much that changes your opinion of and possibly even your experience of whatever is happening.
Our brains get so creative when we open them up with questions like, “how is life working ahead of me right now?” I love this idea so much. I was recently introduced to the Enneagram, and those of you who are well-versed in the Enneagram, let me emphasize that I am an infant when it comes to my knowledge of all that it entails.
So I’m not even going to come close to attempting to teach you about it, but learning about it and studying it in the past month has changed my thoughts in so many significant ways and so today, I want to just touch on some of the things I’ve learned about me in hopes that it can help you too.
I also want to share an exercise you can try to open up your brain to the wonder of you. I’m going to talk all about myself today because it’s my birthday podcast and I can if I want to. I almost sang that for you. The it’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to tune. But I didn’t, and I’ll share why in a minute.
So I’m a five on the Enneagram, sometimes known as the investigator. Probably not shocking to you as you hear me week after week talking about some investigation I have done about something in my brain our I’m encouraging you to do because I just think it’s so helpful.
I won’t elaborate too much on all the ins and outs of my number, but I do just want to share a couple of the mind-benders that I discovered for myself. One of the things I learned about fives is that we tend to have a set amount of energy to expend. Not physical energy necessarily but more like capacity day to day for interaction and engagement.
Everything we do, every interaction from getting coffee to answering emails to conversing with family or coworkers to driving carpool costs us some of that energy. We become adept at sort of parceling that out, balancing it so that we don’t hit our wall of doneness early. Because when we are done, we are done.
When I say one of the things I learned, it makes it sound like it was news to me, but it’s kind of a misrepresentation because it’s more like when I heard this thing that I have always felt but never put into words described this way, I was like, yes, that is exactly how I feel. There are times when I can’t even muster what it would take to reach outside of the bubble of my life to answer a text. I seriously just can’t some days.
Fives also highly value privacy, alone time, and personal space. And once again, when I heard this, I was like, yes, this can’t be more true. These relate to the energy component as well because interactions and engagement costs some energy.
So being alone, valuing privacy, and requiring personal space are all in service of protecting that energy, thus justifying my choice to not sing on the podcast, even though I’m a trained singer. It’s a lot. Not ready for podcast singing yet.
Now, all this may make me sound like I might prefer to be a tired hermit and many people who know me personally would be surprised to hear many of the things about the Enneagram five that I feel describe me to a T because I’m an introvert dressed as an extrovert in much of my life.
And this is really the takeaway I want you to hear. Any personality profile or categorization system is just someone offering you their thoughts that you can choose to believe about yourself or not. You don’t have to be anything anyone tells you that you are. No matter how much research they have done or how convinced they are that it is the capital T truth.
As we’ve discussed before here, your personality is just what you do based on the thoughts and the feelings, so, so much of it is in your control. I live an amazing life and have beautiful relationships and I like to recharge alone.
Learning that many people like me have some of the same thoughts and experiences, I perceived as permission for me to take a deep breath and stop judging myself in some of the areas where I have been judging myself hard for years, thinking I should be different.
I’ve had thoughts for a long time like I should be more social, and I am lazy, like, why am I taking a break right now? But now, I’m choosing to believe instead that I’m private and I enjoy my own company. And that I’m honoring my need for rest and recharging.
Those thoughts feel totally different. You can take anything you learn from any personality test or numerology or the Enneagram or your zodiac sign and you can decide what you want to believe and how you want to use the information or leverage it to take the best care of yourself.
I say if you learn something and it resonates with you and believing it serves your life and helps you be the best highest version of yourself, believe away. So as I mentioned, it’s my birthday this week and two years ago on my birthday, I made a list of 100 things I love about me.
I had heard one of my mentors share a similar list once upon a long time ago and I was blown away that she could think of 10 things, let alone 100. At the time that I heard it, I was mostly creating long lists of things I hated about me and wanted to change, and so the idea of loving things about me at all was totally foreign.
And so I challenged myself a couple of years ago to see if I could make this list. I’ve been doing a lot of work on loving myself and I was actually totally blown away that I was able to do it. The items on the list were less monumental than the fact that I could make that list in the first place.
It showed me how far I’d come in my relationship with myself and after decades of hating me, I was so grateful to feel some love for me. So I’ve been thinking about revisiting that challenge this year for my birthday, but I wanted to take it to the next level.
You hear me encourage you to focus on and connect to future you, to think about your highest self and what she thinks and feels. But I think sometimes, we can do that at the expense of acceptance, of the now version of ourselves. We think about what we want to someday become, and if we are in the I hate myself as I am now stage of the game, it can feel like rejection to think about that future version rather than motivation.
It’s like before and after pictures or someone complimenting you on your weight loss, it can be interpreted by your brain as you looked terrible before. You’ve probably had that experience.
I don’t ever want my focus on my after or my future to infer that who I am now is not okay. I also know that when I am only thinking about what I want that I don’t have, what I want to change, what I wish was different, I’m focused on what I lack, not on all that I possess.
And when I act from lack, from scarcity, from not enoughness – it’s totally a word – I don’t show up in the way I want to. I just don’t. It’s not from love. It’s from fear. And fear doesn’t move me in the direction I want to go.
So I made a different kind of list this year. A list to encompass all that I love about me and things that I like about me, as well as things that I accept. I may want to change those things eventually, or I may be working to change them, but they exist in me now. And if I can find acceptance for them, which is a flavor of love to me, I get to feel that and move forward in that feeling of acceptance and love, rather than the alternative of rejection, disgust, frustration, whatever.
I’m turning 41, so I’ll share 41 of my 100 things here. And if you’re dying to know the rest, I’ll share the entire list in the show notes. I love my eyelashes. I love my laugh. I accept my stretch marks. I like that I still identify as blonde, even though my roots tell a different story.
I love that I graduated from college. I like that I memorize lyrics easily and I can sing all of the words to hundreds of songs. I accept that sometimes I’m late. I love that I can braid hair like a champ. I like that I only listen to Christmas music between Thanksgiving and Christmas, meaning only Christmas music. Nothing else is allowed in my car.
I love that on occasion, I can’t help but dance by myself to a really good song, like Remind Me by Emily King. Look it up if you’re not familiar. It’s amazing. I like that instead of cleaning out my inbox, I just turn off notifications, so I don’t have to see that I have hundreds, maybe thousands at this point of unread junk mail.
I love being alone. I love that I have seen You’ve Got Mail, Dirty Dancing, and Pride and Prejudice more times than I can count. I accept that I’m an introvert. I like to challenge myself. I love the sunset and it takes my breath away every day. I love learning and I love my brain that is capable of always finding something new to learn.
I accept that at times, I feel anxiety and I escape with food, with Netflix, with sleep, or procrastination. I like to believe we are all doing our best. I love animals. I accept that loving animals means living with pet hair. I love that I shop in outfits. I have a purpose and some accessories for every item I buy.
I like that I recently spent a year on probation with my driver’s license and I learned how to drive the speed limit as a result. It’s big news. I used to drive really fast. I love that my body created three amazing humans and one sweet angel baby.
I accept that I sometimes detach to avoid pain and protect myself. I like all of my rooms and my car to smell good, and I have systems in place to make that happen at all times. I accept that believing new things sometimes feels impossible.
I love that I question everything. I love that I am just as happy in sweats with no makeup as I am dressed up with makeup and hair done. I love sitting by the pool or on the beach in the sun with a good book and I can do it for days, or maybe weeks. I don’t know. I’ve never tried that, but it sounds like a good challenge.
I like that I know how to pick a perfect watermelon. I love watching my children to what they love and become who they are. I love that I sing out loud in my car like I am performing in Madison Square Garden. I accept that I judge myself for my choices, sometimes harshly.
I like that ice-cold water is my favorite beverage. I love that I am always reading a self-improvement book and a novel. I accept that I don’t always honor what I want and instead, do what I think I’m supposed to do. I love smelling good.
I like that I am always figuring out what foods work for my body now. I accept that sometimes, things don’t happen the way I want them to or think they should. I love that my family comes first.
What about you? Can you make a list of things you love, like, and accept about you? 100 of them? I want to encourage you to try it. Make one of these lists for yourself. Include all the things you love, the things you like, and the things that you choose to accept that are true of you right now.
Embrace all of you, my friends. You are you right now today. What if you accepted that and invited more love in? Can you imagine? Okay, so I have a birthday wish that only you can make come true. I want to get to an even 200 podcast reviews. That would make my year and blow my mind for real. It would be so exciting.
Reading your reviews, like I said, it’s like magic for my soul. I love it so much. And I would love to have a virtual gift box filled with new reviews to celebrate my birthday. So we’re currently at 154, which means that 46 of you who haven’t left a review would need to take two minutes and leave one. Will you do that for me?
Don’t forget after you do it to go to itbeginswithathought.com/review to submit the title of your review to be eligible for a fun gift from me. I send one out every week. I’m also going to randomly choose three extra reviews this week, three new ones from you, my birthday gifts, just to send a super special grand prize as well. Because I think giving a gift on my birthday is just as fun as getting one. So much love to you my friends, I’ll see you soon.
Thanks for listening to this week’s episode of Weight Loss Success with Natalie Brown. If you want to learn more about how to lose weight for the last time, come on over to itbeginswithathought.com. We’ll see you here next week.